If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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