I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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