we have pet lesbian snakes
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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