and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were trust falling into bushes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
