I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
