No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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