That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
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