You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
