He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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