I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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