He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just pee around me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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