have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
