but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize