I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
