If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
