Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
