he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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