No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Panties = found
Randomize
