I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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