Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
