its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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