I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
