I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
