Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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