oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
