I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
