I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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