i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Can you bring me the toilet please
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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