I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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