Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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