I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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