Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
