bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
