just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
