I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
