wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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