I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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