brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize