She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize