i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
