I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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