She's JV to your varsity
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize