i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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