He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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