You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
