so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
