I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize