I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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