Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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