the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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