My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
