then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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