so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize