i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
