Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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