We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
