5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
