I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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