Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
