I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just had sex bonerless
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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