im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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