You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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