dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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