weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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