he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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