my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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