In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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