Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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