We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
