I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
