I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dear god my vagina.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
