So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
