Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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