Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
